Jaunty Jones Vs Mobsters from Space
by hklbry
Summary: With 'the Boss'  Jack  gone, aliens decide it's the perfect time to move in on Torchwood's territory. Can Ianto, the team, and a group of elderly gangsters protect Cardiff? Janto flashback style! Sequel to Adventures of Jaunty Jones but can be read alone.
1. In Ianto They Trust

**A/N:  
><strong>This takes place post S1/pre S2, but has no Year That Never Was elements. It's more like a Couple of Weeks That Were. This is the sequel to "The Adventures of Jaunty Jones". You don't need to have read that (or remember it!) to read this, but you might miss some of the connections. Imagine the title on a 1950s Sci Fi B-movie poster! While Jack isn't in this story in body, he is in spirit (and flashbacks!) so you'll still get your fix of Capo Jack!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1 – In Ianto They Trust<strong>

"I said I'm sorry! What more can I say," Owen asked stomping into the Hub ahead of Tosh, Gwen, and a very discontent Ianto.

"How about 'duck'? That could have been helpful," Ianto sniped. His shoes squelched as he walked.

"I honestly didn't know it was going to explode."

"I told you it was 99% water," Tosh interjected. "I told you it was a walking balloon. What did you think was going to happen if you shot it?"

"Well," Owen reasoned, "I was more concerned with it not killing us than with Teaboy getting a little wet. Now that I know you care more for his loafers than your life, I'll adjust my priorities."

"I don't wear loafers, Owen," Ianto said turning Owen's name into a curse. "These are balmoral oxfords and while they aren't worth more than Tosh's life, I'm not so sure about yours!"

"Stop it, the pair of you," Gwen yelled. "I've absolutely had it with all the shouting. Ianto, go make us some coffee. Bring it to the board room. Team meeting!"

Owen moaned. Tosh hung her head in her hands. Ianto, to everyone's surprise, did not roll his eyes and walk to the coffee machine.

"No," Ianto said.

"What," Gwen asked incredulously.

"You heard me," Ianto said plainly. "I'm going to make sure this 'water' isn't contaminated. Then, I'm going to take a shower and put on dry clothes. After that, I'm going to call in to the conference call with the Ministry of Defense. If, and only if, I have time before that, I'll make some coffee, but I will not be attending another one of your team pep rallies."

"We need to discuss what went wrong with the mission…"

"We know what went wrong," Tosh interrupted. "A kind of alien we've never seen before came through the Rift. Owen thought it was attacking and counter-attacked. The alien exploded all over Ianto."

"Yes," Gwen said patiently, "that's what happened, but what can we do to ensure this doesn't happen again?"

"I wouldn't do anything different," Owen said glaring.

"Next time we come across this species, it will be in the database and it will say how far away a field agent needs to be before it pops," Tosh added.

"Okay, and Ianto, what about you?" Gwen smiled broadly.

"I shouldn't be in the field to begin with!"

"That's hardly Owen's fault is it," she said motherly.

"Gwen," Ianto said trying to contain his anger at not only the mission, but the overall situation he was in, "Owen and I have been yelling at each other since the day we met. He wants to yell because he had to kill something. I want to yell because I'm wet. Tosh would love to yell, but she's too much of a lady. It's who we are. If you don't like it, replace us. Owen," Ianto said as he walked, with as much dignity as he could manage while looking like a drowned Weevil, towards Autopsy, "do you have something special to test this liquid?"

"Yeah, let me get a beaker for you to empty your shoe into." Owen and Tosh followed.

The liquid turned out to be mostly water, but did contain some alien DNA and a trace amount of mucus. Owen gave Ianto a special cleaner to wash with and with great sorrow Ianto packaged up his clothes and shoes to burn. After his shower spent actively not thinking about how much better it would have been with Jack, he made the coffees, handed them out, and went to Jack's office.

He didn't like using Jack's office as a rule, but the dedicated secure line was there. He and Tosh had talked about changing it, but it quickly became clear it was going to be more difficult than turning the old conference room into a hot house and would require bringing in outside help. Ianto decided not to make an issue of it.

Uncomfortably, Ianto sat behind Jack's desk and shuffled through the papers for the call. He had ten minutes to spare. He liked to have at least 15 so he could re-read any information and calm himself. He'd sat in on many of Jack's calls and had even taken over quite a few as it became easier to apologize for Captain Harkness being unavailable than to apologize after the fact for Jack being Jack especially when Jack was being Jack and wasn't sure if the mute button was on. It had been one of the signs that Jack trusted Ianto. While he might not have had Jack's love, fidelity, or respect, he did have a little of his trust and that was something.

Thinking things like that was why he needed the extra time before the calls. Even though he was sure Jack wasn't coming back no matter how much he wished he would, Ianto had kept everything in Jack's office as it was with only one minor change. He had closed and locked the manhole leading to Jack's bunker. It was too tempting for him to slip down and immerse himself in all things Jack. The others were too curious about Jack and Ianto didn't want them traipsing through Jack's space and prowling through his things. He knew they would eventually, but he wasn't ready for that.

"What's today's call," Gwen asked sitting in the visitor chair and holding her coffee mug.

"This is the MOD coverall," Ianto said not looking up from the papers.

"And what does that mean," she asked.

Ianto knew she wasn't going away. Gwen had taken over as leader which was fine, surprisingly, with everyone. Ianto and Tosh didn't want to do it and Owen only made a token argument that he was better suited for the role. In actuality, Ianto could tell Owen didn't want the responsibility and he certainly didn't want to give up complaining about whoever was in charge. Gwen had the least amount to do and she wanted to be leader so it all made sense. They thought of her more as a coordinator than the new boss.

The only problem was the lengthy list of things she couldn't do, not that Ianto was knocking her for it. Luckily, she agreed that things that fell into the category 'administrative' should be done by Ianto. Ianto didn't mind in principle. Besides the calls, there were other things that Ianto had been taking more and more control over in the last few months with Jack. Some things, like the budget, he had no problem offering to Gwen. Other things, like the budget for Flat Holm, he felt obligated to keep to himself as Jack had entrusted him with the secret. When the Crown eventually appointed a new permanent leader Ianto would pass the secrets onto that person. Until then, he kept his mouth shut. It had nothing to do with holding out hope for Jack to return, he told himself repeatedly.

Unfortunately, in practice Ianto had issues. Sure, he could offer the budget to Gwen, but she would smile and say "administrative" and push it back to him. On top of his usual duties, Ianto found he now had Jack's "administrative" work plus additional field work not to mention the night watch. Oh the night watch!

The first two weeks after Jack left, the Rift was still spewing out all kinds of flotsam, jetsam, and aliens at a record pace. Now things were slowing down, but not as much for Ianto as he would have liked. They'd all agreed they were exhausted and needed a system so they didn't all spend all their time at the Hub. That led to the night watch. Somehow Ianto's comment about having too much to do had led to him working the night watch four nights a week.

"It will give you a chance to catch up without having anyone to bother you," Gwen had said reassuringly and smiling that smile Ianto was working hard not to hate.

It wasn't that bad. It did give him a chance to keep the Hub from falling into chaos. Ianto fixed up a room with a bed and Tosh setup a computer in it. The Rift Monitor would alarm and the person on night watch would have to see if it was something requiring immediate action. If it was, the person on watch would call whoever was needed. The problem was twofold. First, his scheduled 4 nights usually turned out to be 5 or 6 as Owen wouldn't show up or would be unfit for duty, Tosh was attempting to have more of a life, and Gwen was trying to keep Rhys from exploding over her longer hours.

Second, it meant Ianto was only getting a few hours of sleep at a time. He didn't have the desire to come in every morning at 7 am since he didn't have Jack to spend the time with, but he had too much work to do to come in as late as the others. He'd end up working 18 hour days and it was taking its toll. He was tempted to give up his flat and move in to the Hub. He wondered if that's how it had happened to Jack.

But Ianto wasn't the kind to complain especially since his one complaint had led to his predicament. He took a deep breath and thought of how to explain the MOD coverall call to Gwen.

"Well, we used to have two weekly calls. One was for when we have overlapping cover stories. The other was to keep each other in the loop of anything that might fall into the other group's realm. I've convinced them to combine the two calls and it's been working pretty well."

"Can't you just send them an email," she asked.

"Oh, I wish I could, but they like to have live discussions and none of us want a paper trail."

"Maybe I should sit in," she said.

"Oh-kay," Ianto said not really caring if she did or not, but sensing that wasn't what she really wanted. "Do you just want to listen in or do you want me to introduce you?"

"They knew Jack was on the line, yeah?"

"Jack stopped doing the MOD calls when Saxon began sitting in. Jack wasn't very good at holding his tongue," Ianto said trying not to think about the things Jack could do with his tongue.

"So this is something you've been handling for a while," Gwen half stated, half asked.

"Gwen, I don't want to offend you, but I have to call in soon. Is there something you want?" Ianto hoped he didn't sound snippy, but he was tired and he didn't think he could take much more of her tap dancing around.

"Since you asked, do you think you and Owen would respect me more if I did more Jack things and moved into this office?" Ianto couldn't identify the emotion behind the look Gwen was giving him, but he didn't care for it whatever it was.

"Gwen, we don't disrespect you. Look, how many times did you hear Jack break up an argument between me and Owen?"

"That's different," she said quickly. "Jack didn't want to show any favoritism so he couldn't jump in and tell Owen to shut it and if he took Owen's side he'd have you angry at him."

"Um, no, that's not how we worked." Ianto didn't want to explain anything to Gwen or the others, but it felt necessary. "We kept work and our personal…relationship very separate. That's part of why you and Owen didn't have a clue. Jack didn't break us up because he knew it didn't matter. I've shot Owen. He's literally kicked me while I was down. Us squabbling is nothing. We argue more because we are together more. If we had another field agent, I wouldn't have to go out as much and we wouldn't fight as often." Ianto leaned back and smiled. "I'm sorry, Gwen, but it doesn't have anything to do with you. It's who we are."

"That's very similar to what Owen and Tosh said."

"There you go. We have a majority opinion."

"Owen also said he thinks you are working too many hours," Gwen said leaning forward.

"Again, I'm not going to argue. Did I mention getting another field agent to you today?" Ianto smiled. He'd brought up bringing in another person almost every day since Jack had left.

"Oh I don't think you've mentioned it more than five times today," Gwen said with a chuckle. "Jack will be back any day. We all need to be patient and do the best we can in the meantime."

"You know my thoughts on that," Ianto said unable to fake a chuckle of his own. Gwen nodded sadly.

At first, Ianto had been as worried as everyone else, possibly more so. It only took a few minutes to find the CCTV footage of Jack running across the Plass. He had been sick with worry and counted those among the longest moments of his life. Then they found the footage of what Jack was running to and Ianto deflated.

"It's the Doctor," he said in a quiet voice.

"Are you sure," Tosh said looking at the blue police box on the monitor. Ianto nodded.

"Jack said something about the right kind of doctor," Gwen said squinting at the screen. "Who is he?"

"The Torchwood Institute's number one enemy," Owen said.

"Then why haven't I heard of him," Gwen asked.

"Because he was the Institutes enemy, not Jack's," Ianto explained. "They were friends once. I don't know what they are now. The Doctor saved my life at Canary Wharf. He saved the World."

"I met him once," Tosh said. "Jack was upset he missed him."

"I think he's been hoping to see him for a long time," Ianto said, but didn't elaborate. He wasn't prepared to disclose Jack's secrets.

"Is Jack safe? Will he be back," Gwen asked. Everyone turned to Ianto.

"I don't think the Doctor would hurt him, but being with the Doctor is dangerous. At least one of his, I believe he calls them companions, died at Canary Wharf. Of course, you know how much Jack loves danger! Besides, who would stay in Cardiff when they have all of time and space at their fingertips?" Ianto added "besides me" in his head.

"Time and space," Gwen asked.

"That box is the Doctor's time machine," Tosh said. "He can travel anywhere in the universe in it and still be back for tea."

"So Jack could be back any minute," Gwen said perking up. Tosh and Owen smiled.

"Or not," Ianto said bleakly. He wanted to believe Jack would be back, but he had a bad feeling. His natural pessimism was in full bloom.

"Just because you wouldn't come back doesn't mean Jack won't," Owen said. Ianto knew the medic was grasping at straws.

"If it were me," Ianto began then stopped. If it was him, he'd leave a message. Without a word, Ianto jumped up and ran to the Archives.

"What is, Ianto," Tosh yelled after him. Ianto stopped and turned.

"If it were me and I was in a time machine, I'd go back in time and leave us a message in one of the time locked tubes," Ianto said smiling.

"Like Tommy's instructions," Tosh said jumping up as well.

"Exactly," Ianto said turning and running. There were only a dozen sealed messages. Two were in the secure archive. One was the instructions for Tommy that could open at any time. The other was addressed to Jack with a note that said it would open when Jack needed it. The others Jack said he knew what was inside and wasn't concerned with any of them. Some were set for a particular Rift frequency while others were set for specific dates. Ianto knew none of them were addressed to any of them and he had previously found two of them had malfunctioned and should have opened decades earlier. What Ianto hoped to see was a 13th container – a new container that hadn't been there before, but had somehow come into existence through the magic of time travel.

An hour later he and Tosh returned to her workstation to let Owen and Gwen know there wasn't a message. Ianto decided after that brief emotional roller coaster he couldn't afford to have hope. He decided, intellectually, Jack wasn't coming back. Emotionally, Ianto was still working on it.

"So," Ianto said checking his watch, "should I introduce you on the call?"

"I think," Gwen said standing, "I'll take a page out of Jack's book."

"If that means you're going to try to distract me with glimpses of nudity, I'm not sure Rhys would approve," Ianto said managing a smile.

"No," Gwen said turning red. "I meant if he trusted you to handle it then why should I get in your way. Have a good call." She left office and Ianto sighed. Picking up the ancient landline, Ianto wished Jack and Gwen didn't trust him quite so much.


	2. Bad Day at the Office

A/N:

Sorry this chapter is a bit long. Also, sorry for flashbacks within a flashback! And before anyone accuses me of "bashing", nobody comes across at their best in this chapter. Chapter 3 will be up tomorrow for people reading as it's posted. I expect delays with this story because A) it is the first I've started posted without it being close to finished, B) showing Jack only in flashbacks isn't as much fun for me to write, and C) I have a paid writing thing I have to finish (but frankly don't know where to begin with it!) For people reading it in the future *makes appropriate future waving motion* - ignore my ramblings and enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 – Bad Day at the Office<strong>

Ianto rolled out of bed painfully and grabbed the only clean clothes he had at the Hub. There was a time he would never dream of wearing blue jeans and a mock turtleneck virtually anywhere, but especially at work. Weeks without a day off had changed that.

It wasn't that Ianto took many days off before, but he had time for things like laundry and even shopping when Jack was there. Now he didn't have time for cards with his buddies or long lunches not to mention chores like dry cleaning and bill paying. He was feeling overworked and underappreciated. Oh he knew on some level the others appreciated some of what he did, but he also knew they still didn't understand what he did. They still expected their coffee on time and their workstations tidied.

Normally, Ianto wasn't bitter about his lot in life. He had his moments, but for the most part he kept his disappointment and anger to himself. Today, however, he was angry at himself because yesterday he'd lost his temper. They'd all seen him lose his temper on occasion and Jack had joked with them how they hadn't seen anything of the angry bear under the surface. In truth, they hadn't. When Ianto squabbled with Owen it was a way to release some of the pressure. Yesterday, that hadn't been enough and Ianto was angry at himself and ashamed of his behavior. And, he feared, the worst was yet to come. He had to apologize.

It had been so ridiculous. Owen wanted coffee. Tosh needed a device from the Archives. They both insisted they needed theirs first. He assured them they would both get what they wanted as soon as he was done typing the email they had interrupted. They insisted they couldn't wait. He acquiesced and quickly retrieved Tosh's device and made Owen's coffee. He was just returning to the computer when Gwen appeared wanting to know if he'd sent the email to UNIT yet.

"I was just about to," he said hoping she could read the look in his eyes to leave him be to get on with it.

"Ianto, it's important! You said you would take care of it!" Gwen sighed loudly and Ianto almost lost it. Almost. He reigned in his anger.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do everything at once," he said overly calmly.

"Maybe he needs some help in prioritizing," Owen said.

"You did used to have better organizational skills," Tosh added before Ianto could reply.

"It's like you aren't putting the effort in anymore," Gwen said frowning.

"Excuse me?" Ianto said indignantly.

"Well look at your clothes! Ianto Jones wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and an unbuttoned button-down! Is that a missing button? It's like you aren't even trying," Gwen said narrowing her eyes.

"So I'm not trying? Not making an effort!" Ianto shouted standing up from his computer. "That's what you all think? When was the last time any of you had to clean your own gun? Put petrol in the SUV? Convince a London bureaucrat there isn't any need for an onsite inspection? None of you have any fucking clue what it takes to keep this place going! It was hard enough when Jack was here, but with a man down…"

"So that's what this is about," Gwen interjected. "You think if you give us enough of the 'woe is me' attitude we'll hire another field agent! We've all had to make allowances, Ianto! You aren't the only one who's had to pick up a few extra tasks."

Ianto knew it was a sign of how stressed everyone was and intellectually he knew Gwen and the others weren't purposely being thick. He was about to let it drop when Owen decided to intervene.

"You've got it wrong, Cooper," Owen said smiling unpleasantly. "Teaboy's problem isn't that we're short-handed. It's who that hand belongs to! This is what happens when he ain't getting any! Missing the Captain's little Captain, are we?"

Owen didn't see the punch coming any more than Ianto realized he was angry enough to throw one. Tosh and Gwen were immediately at Owen's side inspecting the damage.

Ianto was about to announce his resignation and demand Retcon when the Rift alert sounded. His sense of duty kept him from stomping out. Instead he stomped to Tosh's workstation.

"Medium spike," he announced. "Looks like something organic came through."

"Let's check it out," Owen said wiping at his bloody lip. "Are you coming, Ianto, or are you too important to do field work?"

Ianto didn't say anything and followed the team. Nobody spoke on the way. Ianto thought about apologizing then, but he was still angry. Had he ever asked any of them to do anything? He felt like the more he gave, the more they demanded. He was still thinking about resigning. He knew it was petulant, but he rationalized the team would be better off without him. They'd have to hire a real field agent then. Really, he reasoned, quitting could be saving one of their lives.

The drive seemed to be taking forever. Ianto was always anxious about field work, but after his loss of control in front of the team he was even more so. His anxiety was not relieved when they arrived at the car park where the spike originated and found a three foot tall bipedal creature covered in lilac colored fur with impossibly big eyes.

"It's adorable," Gwen said jumping out of the passenger seat.

"Don't go near it," Ianto shouted.

"What," Owen began getting out of the driver's seat, "are you afraid it will shed on your suit?"

"I can't connect to the alien database. Remote server error," Tosh said not looking up from her monitor.

"It's a Craglor!" Ianto shouted cautiously opening the door. "Keep back!"

"Never heard of it," Gwen said smiling and approaching the creature. "It looks scared. The poor thing's shivering! Hi there. Welcome to Earth," she said bending down to the creatures eye level and slowly advancing.

"About time something came through that wasn't trying to kill us," Owen said smiling uncharacteristically.

"No!" Ianto shouted as Gwen reached out a hand to the timid looking creature. Running as fast as he could from a dead stop, he tackled Gwen throwing her to the floor as the creature snapped with its previously concealed jaws.

The jaws and razor-like teeth slammed shut with an audible crunch barely missing Gwen's outstretched hand. Claws sprang from the creatures hands and it slashed viciously at Ianto's back. He rolled away, but felt the edge of the claws cut into his shoulder blade.

"Shoot it, Owen," he screamed.

"Shoot it," Gwen repeated trying to pull Ianto and herself further from the creature.

Owen snapped out of the daze he found himself in and aimed his gun. He fired. The creature turned towards him. Its oversized eyes now looked red and menacing. Owen emptied his clip into the creature. It slowed, but didn't stop. Gwen raised her gun and shot into the creature, too.

Tosh leveled her gun with her scanner in her other hand. She lined up her shot and carefully squeezed the trigger. The bullet ripped through the creature's right eye. It howled, flailed, and dropped to the ground. Tosh cautiously approached it and put another bullet in its left eye. The corpse jerked theatrically.

"Just in case the database meant my right not the creature's right," she said.

"What the hell was that," Owen asked dropping to the parking lot floor.

"Craglor," Ianto huffed. He mentally tried to breath slower, but his body insisted on not catching his breath.

"And what the fuck is that?" Owen sniped.

"It's a native of Traispa IV," Tosh said. "I finally connected to the database."

"And how did you know that, Teaboy? I don't recall having one of these stroll by." Owen crawled over to the creature.

"I put it in the database from a UNIT card," Ianto said with a grimace.

"Oh, Ianto!" Gwen exclaimed looking at Ianto's back. "You're hurt! Please tell me it doesn't have poisonous claws!" Tosh and Owen ran to Ianto and Gwen.

"Don't think so," Ianto replied. "Painful though. Like giant paper cuts."

"Nothing in the database about the claws," Tosh said looking from Ianto's torn shirt which was turning red to her scanner. "It says its primary line of defense is looking harmless to lure prey towards it. It emits a kind of empathic signal to entice prey."

"That's why you didn't shoot it straight off," Ianto said wincing as Owen and Gwen helped him off with his button down shirt.

"Oh ha ha, very funny," Owen said tearing the holes in Ianto's t-shirt wider. "Not too bad. Won't even need stitches. For your back," Owen clarified. "It will take quite a few for your shirt." He tossed Ianto's button down at him and went to take another look at the alien.

The ride back to the Hub was as silent as the drive out had been. Ianto spent most of it clutching his bloodied and tattered shirt and willing himself not to cry. It hadn't even been an especially nice shirt and had, as Gwen as mentioned, lost a button, but it seemed metaphoric for how things weren't just falling apart around him. They were being ripped asunder. He spent the rest of the trip wondering how 'asunder' and 'ripped' became a common combination. It kept him from remembering Jack childishly destroying Ianto's trousers when Janet tore his suit jacket and how quickly Jack had turned from childish to raunchy or how quickly he had turned from startled to wanton. No, phrase etymology was a much safer subject to ponder.

At the Hub the silence continued. Owen disinfected and dressed Ianto's wounds almost wordlessly. Tosh looked over her security code and set about rewriting the remote access protocols. She quietly typed. Gwen looked through a report Tosh and Ianto had written about the illegal trade of alien artifacts. She stared at the colorful graph without a word.

Ianto, not a particularly boisterous person at the best of times, left Autopsy and went to change clothes silently. As he changed he thought about his big plans for the night – laundry. He had more clothes at the Hub than he did at his flat. He had installed a washer and dryer at the Hub not long after Jack reluctantly hired him, but the washer hadn't worked properly in months and everything put in the dryer came out smelling like a rotting Hoix.

It seemed a little extravagant, but Ianto wondered if he could make room in the budget for a new pair. He imagined a sleek, red metal, front loading washer and smiled. He'd have to keep Jack from…Ianto's smile faded.

"Jack," Ianto remembered saying exasperated, "get off it. It's a washer, not an amusement park ride."

"Can't it be both," Jack had said with a grin. Ianto shook his head trying not to look amused.

"It shouldn't make that sound," Ianto said alarmed by the sudden thump from the machine. "The load is unbalanced."

"I've got a load for you," Jack said bouncing on the machine.

"Then I suppose I'd better get on with it. I think you're going to enjoy the fluff dry option," Ianto replied dryly, but unable to keep the smile from his lips. Jack looked at him blankly for a moment then returned his grin.

Ianto shook his head as if he could force the memory to leave him. At least, he thought biting painfully on the inside of his cheek, I won't have to worry about Jack wanting to test the spin cycle. He took a steadying breath, fumbled as he went to straighten a tie he wasn't wearing, and returned to the main area of the Hub.

"I'll send the email to Colonel Labret at UNIT right away," Ianto said settling down at the work station he was using for convenience. He still preferred using the one in Reception or the one in the Archives. He didn't think he'd ever get used to working so closely to the others.

"Thank you, Ianto," Gwen said quietly. They each sat with only the typing of keys breaking the silence for several moments. "Ianto?" Gwen said breaking the silence. "You mentioned something about UNIT cards. Is that something new?"

"Not exactly," Ianto said smiling. "Just a moment." He jogged up to Jack's office. Ianto rummaged through a desk drawer and returned quickly holding up a deck of playing cards.

"Are we playing Old Maid?" Gwen asked.

"These are no ordinary cards," Ianto said dramatically shuffling through the cards. "This is a deck of very rare, circa 1992, UNIT playing cards."

"You're joking!"

"He's not," Tosh said. "They're like those cards the Americans made for the Gulf War."

"'Know the enemy'," Ianto read handing a card with a Weevil on it to Gwen. The card had an enraged looking Weevil along with a 3 of Diamonds and in tiny print there were a few Weevil facts. Along the top in a larger font were the words 'Know the enemy'.

"The idea is the troops would learn a little about how to identify an alien while playing cards," Tosh said walking over to Gwen's station. "I doubt it was very successful."

"It seemed to help today," Gwen said trading the Weevil card back to Ianto who handed her the 7 of Clubs. "That's not a very good picture. 'The Craglor'," Gwen read aloud, "'can best be eliminated with a gunshot to the right eye. Avoid close contact.' That was good advice."

"Here's another old familiar," Ianto said smiling with a tinge of melancholy. He handed over the card.

"Oh my," Gwen said. "I suppose I know why Jack kept them."

"Yep, Jack of Hearts," Ianto said clearing his throat to cover the sudden emotion he felt bubbling up. The card was the Jack of Hearts and featured a picture of Jack Harkness complete with cocky grin.

"'Suspected alien'," Gwen read, "'currently using the name Captain Jack Harkness. Freelance agent contracted by Torchwood.' This is too much," she added laughing.

"It's a nice touch making him the Jack of Hearts," Tosh said. "I wouldn't be surprised if the cards were designed by an ex-lover."

"That doesn't really narrow down the possible designers," Gwen joked. Tosh smiled. Ianto, notably not smiling, pulled the card from Gwen's hand.

"I'll put these back and update the database with our new and hard won knowledge of the Craglor," he said putting the cards back in their box.

"Ianto, I'm sorry," Gwen began.

"No need," he said plastering a fake smile on his face. He quickly turned and went to Jack's office. He sat down at Jack's desk and opened the drawer purposefully ignoring the other contents while returning the cards. He wasn't fast enough as another memory ran through his mind.

"Suspected alien," Ianto said running a finger along the edge of the playing card.

"It could have been worse," Jack said smiling one of Ianto's favorite smiles. There was a hint of teeth, but not so much that the smile seemed forced. "They could have named me Public Enemy Number 1! I wasn't exactly popular with UNIT for a while there."

"Just a while," Ianto said handing the card back to Jack.

"Well, a few decades. So, would you rather play strip poker, strip gin, or strip war?"

Ianto briefly smiled before the realization that he and Jack would never play some silly, but sexy game again hit him. No sexy laundry, no sexy cards – Ianto was glad he had the night off. He had to get out of the Hub where everywhere he looked he could recall memories of sexy Jack.

"A few people from my book club are meeting for coffee beforehand," Tosh said putting on her jacket. Ianto hurried down the last few stairs from Jack's office to help her.

"And I'm guessing that would include your handsome moderator, Steve," Ianto said.

"It might," she replied impishly. She squeezed Ianto's arm. "Are you okay?"

Ianto hated that question. Sometimes he felt like people had been asking him that his entire life. The problem was the right person never asked at the right moment. He knew Tosh was sincere and somehow that made him hurt in a different way.

"I'm fine." Ianto hoped his tight lipped smile didn't look too pathetic. "I'm just looking forward to getting out of here for a few hours."

"I thought you had the overnight tonight," Gwen said slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"No, it's all Owen tonight. Where is he," Ianto asked scanning the Hub.

"He left as soon as you were patched up," Gwen said setting her bag down. "He said he'd deal with the Craglor tomorrow." She exhaled loudly. "Look, don't worry about it."

"I can stay," Tosh said quickly. "I didn't have a turn this week."

"No," Ianto said keeping Tosh from removing her jacket. "We read that God awful book and rehearsed what you're going to say so Steve will be dazzled by not only your beauty, but your literary insight. I didn't suffer through that for nothing!" And he had suffered. It had been one of the worst books he'd ever read. He'd come up with two separate arguments for Tosh to make. One was what he truly thought of the literary dung hill in the hopes that Steve was bright enough to hate the book and another that was better fiction than the novel singing its praises in case Steve was a moron and loved it. He was going to be very angry if Tosh didn't get laid after all their work.

"Yeah, Tosh, you should go. I can stay," Gwen said. Ianto could detect a large hint of sadness in her tone.

"No," he said, "you have been waiting all week to hear all the gossip from your friend's trip."

"It's only Trina," she replied. "She's just going to spend the evening telling me how incredibly drunk she got and how many men she slept with on the ship."

"And you've been dying to live vicariously through her immoral Mediterranean tour! Seriously, go and I expect both of you to bring me back stories that will curl my hair." Ianto made a shooing motion to the women and they did take a few steps away.

"Your hair is getting a little long," Gwen said smiling.

Jack's voice saying, "Looking a little shaggy, soldier," whispered inside Ianto's mind. He chose to smile wider and ignore it.

"As long as you're sure," Tosh said. "I could take over after the meeting."

"Hopefully, you will be very busy after the meeting," Ianto said with a smirk. "I was going to spend the evening doing laundry. You both have plans with actual people!"

"We should call Owen and tell him to come back," Gwen said.

"No," Ianto said getting tired of the sound of the word from his mouth. "I was out of line earlier. This is his way of getting even. I'll apologize in the morning. I apologize to both of you now." Both women assured him he didn't need to apologize, but he shook his head. "I was completely unprofessional. I'm sorry. Now - go! Enjoy yourselves and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, pet," Gwen said leaning up and kissing his cheek.

"Thank you, Ianto," Tosh said pulling him down and kissing his other cheek.

"Now stop that or I won't want you to go," Ianto said taking a step back. The women waved and walked out the cog door.

Ianto collapsed onto the sofa. The cuts on his back hurt and he was glad. The pain was the only thing keeping him focused. Part of him hoped the Rift was quiet, but another part yearned for a distraction. Feeling like the Phantom of the Hub, he made his evening rounds of cleaning and feeding.

For better or worse, it had been a quiet night. He was able to make a dent in his archiving backlog and updated the Craglor entry including new photos. He even made it to bed at a reasonable hour. He didn't sleep well, however. Every time he turned onto his back a sharp pain would wake him. Ianto was tempted to take some pain killers, but worried they would keep him from hearing an alert. If he was honest with himself, and who is, he would admit part of it was him punishing himself for his behavior. He couldn't believe he'd punched Owen. When did he lose control? His worries he was failing Gwen, disappointing Tosh, and needing to apologize to Owen weren't conducive to sleep either.

So walking to the main area of the Hub wearing his jeans and mock turtle neck Ianto wasn't feeling at his best. He noted it was only a little after 7 so he knew he had some time before anybody came in. He wasn't sure how he was going to do it, but he knew he had to keep his mask in place. Beyond his meltdown yesterday, Tosh had noticed something was wrong. That was unacceptable. It was so difficult without his suits. They'd become such an integral prop to his performance he couldn't help but wonder if he'd been wearing a suit the day before if he'd been able to let Owen's comment roll off his back like he usually did. He decided it was too early without coffee to get philosophical about clothing.

He knew something was wrong as soon as he walked in. All the lights were on. He always turned the lights off when he was here alone. A brief surge ran through him. Had he been wrong? Had Jack come back? He whirled around the Hub looking for signs of life. His eyes stopped at the boardroom. He saw movement.

As quickly as his hopes were raised they were dashed. Gwen came out of the board room and he saw Tosh and Owen, who looked like death warmed over, sitting at the table. He'd checked the monitor. There hadn't been any alerts. It had been the quietest night since Jack, well, in a while. Fear that the computer in his room had malfunctioned gripped him.

"Good morning, Ianto," Gwen said smiling.

Ianto knew it had to be bad. She was smiling that smile he knew she thought was reassuring. He wondered who had ever told her that.

"Morning, Gwen. Is there a problem? I wasn't expecting anyone for another 2 hours or so," Ianto said smoothing down his turtleneck.

"No, no problem. We're just having a team meeting." She smiled that smile again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I'm sure I didn't have it on my calendar," he apologized.

"Oh, well, you see, Ianto, we didn't exactly invite you." She smiled a little wider.

"I see," Ianto said.

"We're almost through," she said. The silence of yesterday hadn't been quite this oppressive.

"I was about to make my morning coffee. Should I bring some to the team," Ianto asked.

"That would be wonderful, Ianto. Thank you." She continued smiling and Ianto turned to walk to the coffee machine. It looked like today wasn't going to be any more his day than yesterday had been.


	3. Retcon Blues

A/N:

No good reason for this chapter being so long. It should have been about 1200 words. Sorry! It boils down to Ianto's self-esteem issues and pessimistic disposition. (Saying that in 10 words proves I don't need this whole long chapter!) Good news, something actually does happen in chapter 4!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 – Retcon Blues<strong>

There was a time when Ianto actively kept himself separate from the Torchwood 3 team. The only one who noticed him was Jack and that was only when he was in the room. After Gwen started, Ianto supposed he wasn't the shiny new toy and he found Jack noticing him less even when he was in the room. It had been fine. Getting noticed was the last thing he wanted. After Lisa, he wasn't the outsider by choice, but he couldn't blame anyone for not including him. Jack noticed him all the time. He felt like the man was constantly staring at him. He'd finally lost his temper.

"Excuse me, sir," Ianto said placing the coffee on Jack's desk. Jack nodded. "Can I speak bluntly?"

"I don't know," Jack said leaning back in his chair. "We've had such a pleasant day! I don't know if I want to ruin it. Your blunt is more like a razor sharp scalpel cutting into my soul."

"Fine, sir," Ianto said swallowing down his preferred, and blunt, reply. He turned to leave.

"Stop! Sit." Jack waited for Ianto to follow his orders. Ianto thought about insisting on standing, but decided he might as well sit down. "Speak," Jack commanded. Ianto narrowed his eyes, but didn't say anything. "What?" Jack continued. "No joke about being a dogsbody not a dog? No snappy comeback about rolling over?"

"I'm sorry, sir. Perhaps you could feed me another straight line and I'll try harder to amuse you." Ianto was pleased by the way Jack froze.

"I have a feeling I'm not going to like what you have to say," Jack said deflating a little in his chair. "I also think I know what it is. I've been expecting it, dreading it." He took a deep breath. "Go ahead."

Ianto didn't know what Jack thought he was going to say and he wished he didn't care. By the end of his suspension he'd forgiven Jack. After the incident with the faeries and Estelle, Ianto had thought things would be better. He'd been there for Jack when he needed someone and his team had turned their backs. With the return of the team things had return to how they were. Ianto actually thought they might have gotten worse.

"Captain Harkness…"

"You can call me Jack, you know," Jack interrupted. "I've heard you say it before so I know you have the ability."

"Are you going to keep interrupting me, sir?"

"I'm just trying to avoid the inevitable," Jack said with what sounded to Ianto like a hint of sadness and world weariness he didn't like hearing from the Captain.

"I'll just say it quickly then. I want you to stop staring at me like any moment I'm going to pull out a gun and mow the team down," Ianto said his voice growing softer, but angrier as he spoke.

"What?" Jack asked.

"If I were going to go on some kind of revenge rampage or workplace shooting spree, I would have done it by now! And, you know what, you wouldn't have seen it coming. I could have taken everybody out when I was still hiding Lisa, but that's not the kind of person I am!" Ianto didn't like how his voice was beginning to waver. He decided to end this. "If you can't set your suspicions aside then make it easier on me and your team. Retcon me and dump me in a field someplace."

Now that Ianto wasn't yelling he was feeling very self-conscious. Jack was looking at him with the faintest of smiles. He wondered if this was what Jack had been waiting for. Had he been waiting for the man to ask to be Retconned?

"I was sort of right," Jack said. "I thought you were going to ask for Retcon, but my reasoning is decidedly different." He smiled at Ianto. "You never stop surprising me. I thought you would ask for Retcon because you couldn't handle the memories or the loss or the guilt. I stare at you, besides the obvious reasons, because I'm worried about you." Jack stood and walked around the desk. He sat on the edge.

"I'm not worried about you hurting us. I'm worried about you hurting you. I'm worried because it still feels like it's us against you. I stare because I spent so much time staring at you, but not really seeing you I'm afraid I can't see the real you. I'm afraid you'll hide behind your suits and I'll never see it coming until it's too late and it'll be my fault because I didn't see you."

"And the obvious reason would be because you'll afraid I'll nick your good silver," Ianto joked trying to lighten the mood. Jack laughed.

"Ok, so maybe I also stare at you because I find you ridiculously attractive, but I'm working at looking beneath the surface," Jack said smiling what Ianto nicknamed 'the Electric'.

"I don't recommend looking too closely. Seeing my inner workings will only further tarnish my veneer." Ianto had been hoping for another smile. Instead he got a guffaw. He was happy to hear the Captain laugh again.

"Ianto," Jack began, "I know you aren't going to hurt anybody except yourself. Once I'm sure you aren't going to hurt yourself, I'll only stare at you because you look so good in a suit."

"I can deal with being ogled," Ianto said. He'd missed Jack flirting with him. "I'm sorry I haven't integrated into the team the way you wanted."

"Don't," Jack said. He pointed at Ianto. "You always do that. You always make me feel better. I'm not doing a good job as a leader. You shouldn't apologize for that. Besides, I've got an idea about bringing the team together."

"Please, don't, sir, not on my account," Ianto all but pleaded.

"It's for the good of the team as a whole. Everyone needs to work together better. You need to work within the team more. I don't want to blame you, but you keep to yourself too much. You make it easy for everyone to see you as outside the team." Jack had slipped into boss mode and Ianto felt obliged to act accordingly.

"I'm sorry, sir. I've never worked well in groups," Ianto said honestly.

"And that's going to change," Jack said leaning back and flipping through folders on his desk. He picked up a particularly thin folder and handed it to Ianto. "Don't tell the others, but we are going to leave tomorrow morning, early. I suggest you wear something a little more rugged. This is going to be perfect for you! Fresh air, change of scenery – it'll do you good. And I know how much you like camping so it should be fun, too."

Ianto didn't correct Jack then. It wasn't until later he explained that he only went camping because Lisa liked it. But, like Jack knowing Ianto was going to say he wanted Retcon, but not getting the reason right, Jack had been right about that trip bringing the team together, but in a way none of them could have guessed.

Now there was no Jack or cannibals to force the team to accept Ianto. Feeling sick to his stomach, Ianto made the team's coffee.

Ianto carried the drinks to the boardroom. He knocked and Tosh opened the door for him. Gwen smiled at him. Owen, who looked even worse up close, stared at the table. Tosh actively didn't make eye contact while still looking at him. He served the coffee.

"Is there anything else," Ianto asked trying to use his best butler voice. Without the suit it didn't have the same effect.

"No, Ianto, thank you. We'll be a few more minutes."

Ianto nodded and left carefully closing the door behind him. Having spent the night catching up on things, Ianto didn't have much to do to keep from thinking about the team. It was pretty obvious they were talking about him. Oddly, he didn't really care. He had been trying to cultivate a feeling of apathy since Jack left and it finally felt like it was working. Ianto was in a place where even thoughts of his Captain couldn't bother him. If only, he thought, I'd gotten here a day earlier.

He double checked everything was ready in Autopsy for Owen's examination of the dead Craglor. He had emailed Owen a copy of all the information known about the species the night before and left a printed copy on his desk. Even though he knew the creature was in temporary storage locker 5 Ianto bent down and checked again. Unable to think of anything else of use he could do at the relatively early hour, Ianto went to the car park and started to clean the SUV.

To most people, the SUV didn't look all that dirty. To Ianto, it was an abomination. He chastised himself for letting the vehicle get into its current condition. They hadn't used any supplies from the vehicle the day before, but Ianto still checked to make sure the extra Weevil spray and ammunition was in order. Whenever he removed a body he always replaced the body bag, but he double checked that as well.

Moving on to vacuuming, he was only a quarter of the way done when he saw Gwen approaching out of the corner of his eye. He switched the vacuum off and, for what felt like the twentieth time that day, missed having a waistcoat to pull down or a tie to straighten. He idly wondered if he could get a job with the real Cardiff Tourist Board in an office where he could still wear his suits.

"We thought, just for moment, that you'd left," Gwen said smiling at him.

Oh God, Ianto thought. It's that 'reassuring' smile again. He wondered if it worked on really stupid people.

"No, just taking care of this disaster. Did you want more coffee?" He was tempted to ask her if she wanted him to prepare the Retcon for himself and if she needed him to create a cover story for why he'd lost his memory. Maybe they'd like him to dump his body someplace convenient while he was at it. Well, he mused, it seems the apathy wasn't as total as I'd thought.

"No, but could you join us back in the Hub?" she asked.

Ianto could feel her nervousness. She might have yearned for command, but her inexperience must have been giving her doubts. Ianto made a mental note to tell her she was doing fine, far better than anyone expected, before he took the Retcon. Part of him wanted to make this harder on her, but he knew that was petty and he wanted to keep what little dignity he had left.

"Of course," he replied. "I'll put this away and be right there." He smiled his old standby 'servile patience no. 2'. He included a slight nod and locked the SUV.

Entering the boardroom for the second time, Owen still refused to look up from the table. Tosh managed to make eye contact briefly, but quickly moved on to looking at his shoulder. Gwen, sitting at the head of the table, did look at him, but her nervousness remained. Ianto stood waiting for a moment, but nobody seemed in a hurry to say anything. He mentally sighed and decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Owen, I've already apologized to Gwen and Tosh so allow me to apologize to you. I'm not sure what came over me. I could say I was over-tired and stressed, but those seem like lame excuses. I had no right to punch you and I'm sorry."

Other than Owen's head bobbing there was no acknowledgement. Ianto had some hateful thoughts of Owen being a drama queen, but remembered he was the one apologizing so he kept those thoughts to himself. With no one vocalizing anything, Ianto decided to press on.

"I know my behavior yesterday was inexcusable. I know my performance has been poor and my attitude worse. I know I've failed all of you."

"Don't say that, Ianto," Tosh interjected.

"No, Tosh, it's alright," Ianto said smiling a real smile. "I understand. It was easier to tolerate me when Jack was here. I'm not getting better at being a team player. I'm getting worse. Every time we go out on an alert all of you have to worry if I'm going to screw up or how badly I'm going to get injured. I can be honest with myself. I'm not cut out for this. My best hasn't been good enough. I appreciate everyone helping me, but at the end of the day it doesn't change what has to be done." Ianto took a deep breath. He didn't think he'd ever spoken so much to these people.

"I'll stay and try not to get anyone killed while you find a replacement. I have a list of possible candidates if you'd like to look at it." With that everyone was finally looking at him and Ianto was even more uncomfortable.

"So it's that simple, is it?" Gwen asked her voice heavy with emotion. "We stamp 'resigned' on your employee record and it's done?"

"The process is a little more complicated, but, yes, pretty much," Ianto said. "'Resigned' sounds a little better than 'fired', but it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'll be explaining it to my next employer even if I were to remember working here." Ianto could almost hear three sets of eyelids blinking at him.

"You fucking plan to Retcon yourself, too? Christ," Owen said shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest.

"You can do the honors if you want," Ianto said confused. "If you decide to dump me on a deserted track of road in the North then you should probably do it." Ianto hadn't thought the team would quibble about the particulars.

"I'm not telling you what to do," Ianto began. "Ideally, you'd all decide to let me keep my memories. Not all of them are horrific, but there are some I won't miss. I could argue that you might need my help someday, but as that isn't likely and Retcon is procedure, I'm not going to fight it."

"We aren't Retconning you," Gwen said firmly.

For a moment Ianto was relieved, but then he saw the slight shake to Gwen's frame. He glanced at Tosh and saw she was crying. Owen, again, was staring at the table.

"Oh," Ianto managed to say. He pulled out a chair and sat down. He'd found records of this happening before when a Torchwood operative was too valuable alive and intact to Retcon, but too dangerous to keep on active duty. But Torchwood didn't have a facility for those people any longer. Were they going to put him in the Vaults? Would he spend the rest of his life in a cell next to a Weevil?

There was, Ianto knew, a third option. Torchwood agents could be Retconned, imprisoned, or executed. He didn't think they would kill him, but he'd prefer that to living in the cells.

"Ianto," Gwen began, "we've discussed it and we all agree, even Owen, that we can't allow things to continue this way. I'm also not alone saying you can't leave Torchwood. What would Jack say when he comes back if you aren't here?" She smiled and Ianto couldn't identify it as one he'd seen before.

"Jack isn't…" he began.

"I know how you feel," Gwen interrupted. "But I know he'll be back."

"And if his sodding teaboy isn't here there be hell to pay," Owen said still not looking up.

"We need you," Tosh said quietly. "Please, Ianto, don't quit. You know how much you mean to me."

"What is it going to take to make you stay?" Gwen asked.

Ianto was confused. They wanted him to stay? He couldn't make this fit into his reality.

"Owen," Gwen said elbowing the medic.

"Yeah, well," Owen said dragging his eyes to look at Ianto, "I accept your apology and I'm sorry I pushed you. I'm sorry about making you work my shift last night, too."

"That one I can believe," Ianto said. "You look like hell."

"Probably should have stayed here, saved £40, and my liver," Owen joked.

"We've stuck you with too many overnights," Gwen said. "We'll work out a fair schedule and this time we'll follow it. We've each made a list of things you do for us that we should probably do for ourselves. You'll have to teach us how to do some of it."

"Give us another chance, Ianto," Tosh said reaching down the table at him. Ianto reached back and grabbed her fingers lightly.

"Why are you all being so nice to me?" Ianto asked. He really couldn't think of a single reason.

"We should have been nicer from the start," Gwen said. "I realized last night while I was cozy in my own bed that you were here, injured, exhausted, and not complaining. After your little scrap with Owen, I knew you were on the edge and I should have insisted you go home. Instead, I let you insist on me and Toshiko going home. Jack never would have done that. I'm sorry."

"No one is expecting you to be Jack," Ianto said hoping she wouldn't be offended. The unpleasant image of Gwen wearing a great coat and telling him to get on his knees like a good soldier entered his mind and he almost winced.

"No, but I need to do better. We all need to do better. We need to look after each other. So, will you give it another try before quitting?"

"I suppose so," Ianto said even though he had thought this meeting was about firing him. He smiled at that misunderstanding and decided not to disclose it.

"I'm so glad," Gwen said exhaling deeply.

"With this out of the way," Owen said standing up, "I've got an autopsy to do."

"And I'm going to pick us up some breakfast," Tosh said getting up as well.

"And Ianto," Gwen said, "I thought you could explain the report you and Tosh did about alien goods on the black market then go home, sleep, and for Pete's sake get a haircut!"

Owen was closest to Ianto who was still seated and tousled his hair. Ianto batted his hand away.

"You better hope Jack doesn't come back until you've been to a barber," Owen said playfully. "He'd take scissors to you himself!"

Ianto decided it might not be a bad day after all.


	4. Vicariously Not Getting Any

**A/N:  
><strong>(Advanced apologies for the length of this note!) I actually thought this chapter was already posted. I have been way too disorganized lately! (If I missed replying to any reviews or you received extra replies you already know that!) The chapter title refers to Tosh, Owen, and Trina via Gwen not supplying Ianto with any juicy stories of bad decisions made naked. Let me know if you have a better title!

To An – I don't post anywhere else anymore. "Woke Up Screaming" is ridiculously long and never really developed a plot per se. It had the rather clunky mechanism of every chapter beginning with Ianto waking up from sleep or unconsciousness and screaming. I doubt it will ever see the light of the internet. Sad, really, because I really like some of it especially the Canary Wharf chapter and some of Ianto's nightmares. (And I'm not a fan of myself so that says a lot!) I have at least a dozen TW stories started that I want to work on some day, but probably won't until this story, its sequel, and my new non-TW novel are finished.

Having said that, I have a really short TW story that's 3 chapters long and needs an ending. If you, or anyone, would like to take a peek at it and give me any suggestions just email at hklbry AT gmail.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 – Vicariously Not Getting Any<strong>

"…which is represented by the red line on this graph," Ianto said pointing to an erratic red line on the paper in front of him and Gwen.

"Ok," she replied slowly, "but what does all of that mean? I'm sure Jack would understand, but it's over my head. Sorry."

Ianto had spent the last 20 minutes explaining the report on black market alien goods. He could tell Gwen wasn't getting it five minutes in, but he was going to keep going until she either had an epiphany or she admitted it was all gobbledygook to her.

"Jack," Ianto began authoritatively, "would have flipped through the pages, looked a little longer at the ones in color, and then called me into his office and ask me if there was anything in the file he should know." Ianto didn't include what Jack would be doing with his hands while he asked.

"And what would you have told him?" Gwen asked smiling.

"The price of weapons have sky rocketed as the supply has taken an unprecedented dip. The demand for components has gone up and Tosh believes the kind of components being bought could be used to make or modify weapons."

Gwen's eyes widened, but she didn't respond.

"Many of the buyers are people we generally see as sellers. It almost looks like Earth's resident aliens are arming themselves," Ianto said.

"That sounds bad," Gwen said sincerely.

"Possibly. We aren't really sure what it means," Ianto admitted.

"What would Jack suggest?" Gwen asked. Ianto shook his head.

"Don't worry about what Jack would say," Ianto said.

"But what would he say?" Gwen persisted.

"Jack would say 'Keep an eye on it' or 'That explains what I heard at Sanctuary' or 'Fine, I'll make some calls now take your clothes off'," Ianto said not meaning to disclose quite so much. "My point is Jack was Jack. Half the time I didn't know what he was talking about. He majored in Enigmatic and minored in Vague Utterances at Uni. Honestly, don't worry about leading like Jack. Concentrate on coordinating like Gwen."

"I just want to do a good job. I know I haven't been, Ianto, but things will get better," Gwen said squeezing Ianto's arm. "So, would Jack really just say off with your clothes?"

"Um…ah…" Ianto began as his face turned red.

"I'm just being nosy," Gwen said quickly. "It's difficult not being…curious."

"I'm sure if Jack comes back he'll have no problem satisfying your curiosity," Ianto said in clipped tones.

"I don't mean to offend you," Gwen said quickly.

"You aren't," Ianto replied just as quickly. He wished she would go back to asking about reports. He strongly suspected she wouldn't.

"It's just you and Jack were able to keep it all so secret," Gwen began. "You can't blame us for being curious."

Ianto didn't say anything. When Jack first disappeared, the team, particularly Gwen, had wanted to know everything about Jack and that included the personal details of Jack and Ianto's relationship. Ianto made it clear he wasn't going to tell them everything he knew and certainly wasn't going to kiss and tell. They all agreed to drop the subject, but they each still had their moments when they'd try to wheedle more information from him. Gwen was the most dogged, but was definitely not alone in her curiosity.

"How was Trina's Mediterranean Manhunt?" Ianto asked as the silence grew from uncomfortable to painful. He didn't really care, but he did like being reminded that people did things without aliens, time shifts, and bloodshed.

"She was quite disappointed! She was seasick most of the time and when she finally felt well enough to go on deck she said all the men were either already snatched up, creepy, or gay or a combination of all three."

Gwen's eyes widened and she smiled. Ianto was instinctively leery.

"I've got a great idea! Why don't you give her a call! She'd jump at the chance to jump a smart looking bloke like you! You can take her out to dinner or something. It wouldn't have to even be a posh place," Gwen said enthusiastically.

Ianto tried to hide his horror at the thought, but he wasn't successful. He tried to stammer out an apology, but Gwen held up her hands and shook her head.

"No, don't worry! Trina isn't looking for a boyfriend or anything. It would just be a bit of fun."

"That's okay, Gwen," Ianto said finally getting a word in. Ianto struggled for a diplomatic response. "I'm not really looking for, um…"

"A cheap bar skank?" Owen had no trouble being undiplomatic. "Not to interrupt, but I need someone to hold back some forceps on our fluffy friend."

Ianto was thankful for the distraction and started toward Autopsy, but Gwen skipped ahead of him.

"I'll help," she said looking from Owen to Ianto.

"We aren't going to get in another fight," Owen said. It annoyed Ianto as it mirrored his own thoughts.

"I know," Gwen said, "but I can do it. It's usually Tosh or Ianto who help, but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of learning."

"Make sure you wear a smock," Ianto said. He wasn't going to argue with her if she wanted to get her hands dirty. He imagined she wanted to have another quiet word with Owen along the lines of 'don't taunt the crazy man'. He hoped she wasn't.

His paranoid imaginings were interrupted by the invisible lift lowering. He watched as Tosh descended and imagined her in traditional Japanese garb, fabric flowing around her as she came down to Earth to say hello to the mortals. The idea made him smile.

"Let me help you with that," Ianto said grabbing the two bags she was carrying. "Never go to pick up food when you're hungry," he added pretending the bags were overly heavy.

"I bought bagels then thought doughnuts would be better then remembered Owen likes those breakfast burrito things. It will give us plenty to snack on," Tosh said following Ianto to the Boardroom.

"It might just be enough to see us through till lunch…" Ianto began. "…of December 2009," he finished.

"I'm sure Owen will manage to gobble it up by then," Tosh replied playfully swatting his arm.

"So," Ianto said pulling boxes out of the bags, "how did last night go? Did you suitably impress Steve?" Ianto could tell by the look on Tosh's face things hadn't gone well and he immediately wished he hadn't mentioned it.

"Turns out he loved that awful book! I was about to agree and go through the nonsense you told me, but I thought do I want a cheap, tawdry, purely sexual affair or a relationship? I want a relationship. Then I asked myself if I wanted a relationship with a man who could actually like that book!"

"That would be difficult," Ianto laughed.

"It would be," she smiled. "So I decided to say what I really thought about the book."

"Good for you!" Ianto was proud of her even if he wasn't going to get any titillating tales of her literature lothario.

"And the room went completely silent. I don't think half of the group even read it! Afterwards this really quiet guy Ted came up to me and said he agreed with me. He said he thought I was one of those women who only came to the meetings as a Steve sycophant. Come to find out, Ted's been going to the book meetings for over a year and he knows for a fact Steve is married and Steve has been known to have affairs with some of the women from the group."

"That's awful! It sounds like the type of thing Owen would do," he said with a knowing eyebrow raise. "Is this Ted guy nice?"

"I find him a little creepy. I don't think I'll be going back. Bad books and bad company aren't worth the small social value I gain," she said smiling again.

"You can always find another group. You could get Owen to go with you by telling him there will be lonely women there."

"You can stop that train of thought right there," Tosh said warningly.

"I see a pattern forming, Tosh. You can do so much better than Owen and Steve! Maybe find a nice physicist. What about that ecologist guy working on that Bay project? You liked him."

"He was okay, but a bit boring. Besides, why am I even thinking about having a relationship? Torchwood and love don't go together. Just look at you and Jack…" Tosh stopped abruptly and looked at Ianto with a shocked look on her face. "Oh, Ianto, I didn't mean…"

Ianto waved his hands and shook his head. He smiled lightly.

"It's alright, Tosh. I won't break just because his name is mentioned!" He hesitated to continue, but decided he should. He knew Tosh wasn't being nosy and wouldn't tell Gwen and Owen what he said.

"Me and Jack," he said sitting down at the table and gesturing for Tosh to join him. "I wouldn't say what we had was love."

"You can't fool me, Ianto. You love him!" Ianto reluctantly nodded.

"Between you and me, I did love him. I probably still do," he added before she could. "But Jack doesn't love me and never could or would. I never expected him to. In fact, sometimes he would do or say something and I would get confused because it wasn't obviously about sex or comfort.

"Like when Dave died," Ianto elaborated. "As his convenience lay, he didn't need to come to the funeral. He'd only met the old man twice and he knew I was angry because we couldn't do more to save him and even angrier because I felt like Jack was only trying to placate me by looking into the alien energy thing."

Ianto paused as he felt a twitch in his eye. Tosh patted his hand and he covered her hand with his other.

"Later I had too much to drink at the wake and he picked me up. I could understand that. He wanted sex and he knew I was good to go. We got back to my place and he said he wanted to take care of me. It wasn't like he wanted to take care of my sexual needs, but really take care of me. There was the usual lust, but it felt like he really cared about me."

"That's because he did," Tosh insisted.

"But then we were lying in each other's arms and he got a text from some girl named Missy. He was gone like a shot. He was gone so fast he forgot his phone. I actually cried! Stupid Jack Harkness had pulled me in and convinced me I mattered. Just as quickly, cruel Jack Harkness let me know where I stood, reminded me of my place." Ianto smiled weakly at Tosh and squeezed her hand.

"I don't think Jack would cheat on you," Tosh said.

"You have to be in a real relationship in order to be cheated on. I didn't even have the right to be upset. That's what made it worst. Lisa cheated on me with an old boyfriend," Ianto said matter-of-factly though he was feeling anything but. "I was able to shout about it. She apologized and we got past it. In some ways, it made us stronger. With Jack…" Ianto sighed. "It doesn't matter. Jack's gone. I need to get over it. I'll get us some more coffee to go with this delightful repast." Ianto stood and left the Boardroom before Tosh could say anything.

Mechanically going through the familiar motions of making coffee, Ianto's mind wandered back to the evening of Dave's funeral.

Ianto had leaned unnecessarily against Jack as they went from the parking lot to his flat. He was drunk, but he was, in spite of Jack's remarks to the contrary, fairly steady. He remembered handing Jack his keys to unlock his door and feeling an overwhelming urge to kiss Jack. He had given in to the impulse and had kissed Jack just below his ear.

"Ianto," Jack had admonished with a smile on his face, "we're in public."

"Don't care. It's an empty hallway and I've been dying to kiss you all day."

"You must be desperate if you don't care if the neighbors see. I hate to disappoint your inner exhibitionist, but you'd kill me when you're sober if anybody sees us," Jack had said opening the door and ushering Ianto inside. Ianto had made a dismissive sound that confirmed he was still well and truly intoxicated.

"I'm only disappointed you changed. I was hoping to undo your tie for you," Ianto had said walking his fingers down the center of Jack's chest. Jack had traced a finger down from Ianto's temple to his chin then back up to Ianto's eye with its slight bruise.

Ianto, back in the present and in the Torchwood kitchenette, could feel Jack's fingertip traveling down his face. He remembered it all so clearly. Almost too clearly. Jack had looked so sincere as he spoke.

"Are you sure you're okay? I hate to see you hurt."

"I'm fine," Ianto had insisted. "Rick's fist was attracted to my eye."

"I'm attracted to your eyes, too. And who or what wouldn't be attracted to your pouty lips," he had said lightly outlining his lips with a fingertip.

"Didn't you say something about kissing it to make it better," Ianto had asked innocently.

Ianto's heart skipped as he remembered Jack gently cradling his face and kissing his temple. He then placed tiny, gentle kisses across Ianto's cheek bone and up to his undamaged eye. Jack then did the same on the other side of Ianto's face placing an even gentler kiss on the bruise forming on Ianto's eyelid.

Ianto had kept his eyes shut as Jack kissed his way down Ianto's forehead and nose before kissing his lips delicately, more delicately than Ianto thought Jack was even capable.

"Feeling better," Jack had whispered and kissed Ianto's ear.

"I feel great," Ianto had replied grabbing Jack's ass and pulling their bodies together.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were interested in me." Their personal joke still resounding in Ianto's ear.

"Not much of an observer, are you, sir? It should be obvious to anyone, everyone, that I'm more than interested in you. Even Rick noticed. He thought you were my boyfriend," Ianto had said with wicked smile. "I'll have to be more careful," Ianto then began wrapping his arms around Jack's waist. "I wouldn't want to upset your other admirers."

"Is that why you two were fighting," Jack had said pulling away again.

"No," Ianto had replied and reached for Jack who easily stepped out of his grasp. "He had some issues with Dave that will never be resolved. I think he was a little offended by my presence. I did stick my nose in."

"You helped! You take care of everyone," Jack had insisted and pulled Ianto into an embrace and nuzzled his neck. "Let me take care of you."

It had been one of those moments with Jack where Ianto didn't know how to respond. It was that gentle, caring creature who wore Jack's face that confused him. He didn't know how to behave with him. Usually Ianto would do something to remind both of them they didn't have a real relationship and what they did have was about mutual need and desire. Ianto decided, or rather his alcohol soaked brained decided, to enjoy it and worry about the consequences later.

"You can take care of me any way you want for as long as you want," Ianto had said placing his hands on Jack's face and lightly kissed his lips. When they had pulled apart the pleased look on Jack's face made Ianto's stomach flip and he had suddenly felt much more sober than he had a moment before. The butterflies in his stomach had threatened to lift him off his feet as he let Jack lead him to the bedroom.

Ianto snapped out of his reverie. It wouldn't do for him to keep reliving the past. The trouble was he wasn't ready to look to the future and truth be told he wasn't much fussed on the present. The best he could do was mark time one cup of coffee at a time. He tried not to think how pathetic that sounded.

When he returned to the Boardroom Gwen and Owen had joined Tosh and Ianto cringed at the mess Owen was making.

"I think as much as 60% of that burrito is actually making in your mouth, Owen," Ianto said dryly putting the tray of coffee on the table.

"Leave off," Owen whined as a bit of sausage escaped the tortilla and splatted on the table.

"He'll clean up after himself, Ianto, won't you Owen?" Gwen more announced than asked.

"That's alright, Gwen. It's easier if I simply clean up after him rather than cleaning up after his attempts at cleaning." Ianto forced a smile to cover his annoyance. In truth, he was more than a little tired cleaning up after the so called adults he was supposed to be working _with_ not _from_.

"You're not going to have time," Gwen said. "Owen will have to do it and do it right. You will be too busy for that."

Ianto raised an eye brow. He was sure he was up to date on everything. He was quite proud of that, actually.

"You're taking the day off. Do your laundry. Get a haircut. Go back to bed and sleep for 20 hours. We'll only call if we absolutely have to," Gwen said.

"I'll make sure they don't make too much of a mess," Tosh added.

"And I'll take the night shift even if it is your turn," Owen said before taking a more careful bite of his breakfast burrito. "I could use a night off from buying overpriced drinks for unresponsive birds. I probably have a better chance of getting laid Weevil wrangling." Everyone made their unique face of disgust.

"I should argue with you, but my clothes and hair make me look like a transient. Thank you. Really," Ianto added. He didn't feel he deserved a day off, but he knew he could certainly use it.


	5. Crime Lord

**Chapter 5 – Crime Lord**

To alleviate the guilt of leaving, Ianto cleaned up the Boardroom after breakfast before Tosh manhandled him out the door. A quick call to Sid and he had an appointment at Catelli's Modern Menswear. He didn't really need to call ahead, but he liked to show Sid how much he valued his tailoring skills by showing him that extra level of respect. Also, having clothed generations of Cardiff's criminal elite, it seemed like the prudent thing to do.

He hadn't been back since Jack had Sid work his magic turning his 1986 abomination to fashion into a reasonable suit jacket to wear for a funeral. Ianto had his apology for anything Jack might have said at the ready. He wasn't looking forward to facing Sid's granddaughter, Amy, in particular. He didn't find her pleasant to begin with and he could only imagine how obnoxious she would be after Jack's visit. After all, Jack had talked to her. He'd actually insisted Amy had a crush on Ianto. At least it had been a few weeks so maybe it wouldn't be so awful.

He definitely wasn't calling Tom to see if he was free because he needed a shield. No, Ianto wanted to see his friends and see if Dylan was around to give him a trim. He certainly wasn't afraid to face the little harpie! Ianto had apologized to two Prime Ministers, countless Generals, Admirals, and bureaucrats not to mention the Queen for Jack's, well, Jackness. He'd made an art form out of it. Of course, most people didn't hate Ianto the way he felt Amy did.

"Hi Tom," Ianto said into his phone smiling. He was not inviting him along to help break the tension. His relief to find Tom was free to go with him to Sid's was solely because he was happy to see his friend again. That was his story and Ianto was sticking to it.

"Jaunty!" Dylan exclaimed as Ianto walked into Dylan's Barber Shop.

"There's my favorite barber," Ianto said greeting the elderly man.

"Tom said you'd be stopping by for a trim. I can honestly say it wasn't a moment too soon! You look a sight," Dylan said leading Ianto to a chair and deftly wrapping a cape around him.

"I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore." Ianto felt some of the tension of the last few weeks seep out of him as Dylan combed through his hair.

"We've missed seeing you around," Dylan said smiling at Ianto's reflection.

"Not as much as I've missed being around," Ianto said smiling back. Dylan "The Book" might have been a top notch book maker, but to Ianto he would always be the best barber in Wales. With Jack gone and the Rift volatile, Ianto hadn't had time to spend with his elderly friends who decades ago made up Cardiff's most wanted.

"Have you been busy 'cause business is good or 'cause business is bad?" Dylan queried before tsking at the length of Ianto's hair.

Ianto wasn't sure how to answer that. To his family, he was some kind of governmental bureaucrat. To hapless strangers, he was the tourist booth attendant. But to senior friends and prominent members of the Organized Crime Taskforce, he was a stone-cold gangster specializing in hits for hire. Ianto had done very little to dissuade anyone of the notion. While he did do certain things of an illegal nature for Torchwood, he certainly never killed anyone for money. The idea in practice nauseated him, but the idea in fantasy was thrilling. In spite of his job involving aliens and conspiracies, a good deal of it was mundane, even boring. But Jaunty Jones, mafia burner, never had a dull moment. He knew the others, Gwen especially, didn't approve of his unintentional alter-ego, but Ianto was loathe to give up his mistaken identity now. Jack had understood. Ianto quickly ended that train of thought.

"Busy in that 'a man down and the calendar is full' kind of way," Ianto finally answered.

"One of your crew got busted?" Dylan asked.

"Nah," Ianto replied a little more wistfully than he intended. "Remember Jack?"

"Capo Jack! Nice guy for an American."

"He did a runner," Ianto said hoping that was the correct terminology.

"No! What happened?" Dylan asked putting the comb down. "Wait a minute," he said walking to his back room. He returned a moment later with Tom.

"Jaunty! I didn't hear you come in! How's my boy?" Tom, looking as tall, thin, and as distinguished as ever, wrapped an arm around Ianto's shoulders in an affectionate half embrace. Of all Ianto's elderly friends, Tom was his closest. Of course, he had thought Tom was going to kill him on their first meeting, but that didn't stop him from admiring the man's suit and overcoat. They'd bonded over clothing and the perception they were both dangerous killers. Ianto had become a surrogate grandson for the old man.

"Finally getting a trim so I can return to the civilized world with my head held high," Ianto said snaking a hand from under the cape to pat Tom's back.

"Jaunty says Jack did a runner," Dylan said picking up the comb and a pair of scissors. Tom sat down in the next barber's chair.

"No! Let me guess – he either ran away with someone else's wife or he ran away from a scorned lover," Tom said.

"Well," Ianto began finally feeling like he was imparting gossip rather than soul-wrenching news, "he didn't say before he left, but from what I can tell he left to be with the love of his life and he definitely left behind at least one upset lover."

"He didn't say anything? I thought a talkative bloke like him would have told you everything," Tom said running a finger along the scar on his cheek. Ianto had never gotten the full story, but he knew the scar involved some kind of betrayal on a personal and professional level. He could relate as he felt he had a matching scar on his heart.

"Not a word. I went to get him a coffee and when I got back he was gone. Looked up in time to see him taking off in his old friend's car." It wasn't strickly the truth, but he could hardly tell them Jack took off in a space ship with a time traveler.

"That's terrible. Who's the boss now?" Dylan asked.

"Well," Ianto began with a sigh, "I believe the term is 'a power vacuum'. Everyone has risen to the occasion to help out, but nobody can really take Jack's place. Gwen is a bit bossy so she thinks she's in charge and we let her. I'm trying to keep it quiet that Jack's gone, but I don't know how long I can keep that up. Part of me hopes he gets his head together and comes home, but I don't think he was ever really happy here. For his sake, I hope he's happy. I know how hard it is to find happiness so I can't really begrudge him running off to find it."

Not, Ianto thought, that I can be happy without him. I wonder if there's a cure for selfishness.

"Sounds like a midlife crisis to me," Tom said.

Ianto smiled thinking of Jack's very long life. Jack certainly seemed to be in a sleeping with younger people/buying sports cars phase of life. The afternoon they spent car shopping was evidence of that. He hadn't bought a new car in spite of Jack's insistence or perhaps to spite Jack's existence, but they did manage to have an argument that left Ianto feeling conflicted. On one hand, he was angry, but he hated fighting with Jack. On the other hand, they both said the kind of ridiculous things only couples seem to say during arguments. The car salesman had even suggested they go home and discuss the purchase in private before stamping off muttering about 'domestics' and always getting the Bickersons on his shift. He and Jack walked away indignantly and drove away in silence before they could no longer restrain themselves and had to talk about the salesman, his attitude, and lack of style.

It had been a horrible day, but Ianto felt a strange longing thinking about it. He had to admit he'd rather argue with Jack than cuddle with anyone else.

"Whatever his reasoning," Ianto said returning his thoughts to the present, "Jack's gone and I'm 90% sure he isn't coming back. I'm going to hide his leaving for a few more weeks if I can to make sure everything is in order and then we'll see what happens."

"You thinking about becoming the boss?" Tom asked. Ianto chuckled.

"Nah, I'm not cut out for leadership. Like Jack always said, I'm a good soldier. It won't be the same when someone new takes over, but I'll still do my best to be that good soldier. Someone once told me I'm built for loyalty. Hopefully the new Capo will be worthy of it."

Not that Ianto believed that for a moment. He imagined the Crown sending in some bureaucrat who would manage them from a spreadsheet or some fast talking soldier of fortune that didn't care if he got them all killed if it meant he got paid. He doubted he'd last long in either scenario. He couldn't imagine either being able to justify his salary. The only real question was if they would give him retcon or if they would honor the previous arrangements made for Canary Wharf survivors. Ianto made a mental note to make some discreet inquiries on the subject.

"Well, I for one," Dylan said gesturing with his scissors and comb, "think you would make a great boss. For one thing, you've got a good head on your shoulders!" Dylan thumped Ianto on the head with his comb to accentuate the point. "And good hair on that head! You could be a politician with hair like yours. Look at that Saxon guy. Does anyone care about his policies? No. Why? Because he looks the part! He looks like he'll be a good PM so people plan to vote for him."

Ianto had very definite views on Harold Saxon, but he didn't like to discuss politics. He also didn't know how to explain that after speaking with him on the phone Saxon gave him the heebie jeebies. Luckily, Tom changed the subject back to Ianto. Ianto never thought he'd prefer to be the subject of conversation, but compared to talking about Saxon he found he did.

"You know, Jaunty, you have got a lucky break," Tom said. "You learned a valuable lesson with no bloodshed. I respect your loyalty to Jack, but you got too close to him."

"Oh, I don't think…" Ianto began worried his friends had realized the nature of his relationship with Jack.

"No," Tom interrupted, "trust me on this. You crossed a line between leader and friend. That never goes well especially in our line of work. Look at how Jack picked you up from Dave's wake! He didn't pick you up because he was your boss and he was worried you were too drunk for work. He picked you up because he was your friend and wanted to make sure you got home safe."

Ianto didn't correct Tom that Jack picked him up because he was horny.

"I suppose," Ianto said instead.

"Like I told you before, it's best not to forget your place. It's tough, but friends and business don't always work. Who's your best friend?" Tom asked.

"Jack," Ianto answered quietly. He didn't like where the conversation was going, but he knew it was a place he needed to go.

"Right. And who left you high and dry without a word? You don't even know for certain that he's alright."

"I'm sure he's fine," Ianto defended. "Jack is the kind of guy who can make it through anything just fine."

"But you don't know for certain," Tom added. "I know you well enough to know you are the type of person who cares and worries about your friends. Jack knows that and yet he hasn't even picked up a telephone and called to tell you 'Don't worry. I'm on a tropical beach getting laid. Have a nice life.' You want to argue the point with me not because it ain't true, but because you're loyal even when the person doesn't deserve it or it hurts you. This is your wakeup call! You should take over the crew and think about yourself for a change."

"I don't really see myself as Jaunty Jones, Crime Lord," Ianto said trying to lighten the mood.

"I like that," Dylan said. "Jaunty Jones – Crime Lord – it has a real sound to it."

"It's flattering that you both think I have it in me…" Ianto began.

"We don't think. We know," Tom said. "You have to work on your self-esteem!"

Ianto couldn't disagree. Even Jack who was the source of many of his insecurities had told him he needed better self-esteem. And what, exactly, did Jack do that he couldn't besides indiscriminately flirt and come back from the dead? He didn't have any love of field work, but he wasn't bad at it. He didn't think he'd ever really be in charge, but it wasn't because he was incapable.

"Hello," Ianto said flipping back the hair cape and extending a hand to Dylan. Dylan transferred his scissors to his left hand and grasped Ianto's hand. "I'm Jaunty Jones, Crime Lord of Cardiff. I plan to put the 'organized' back in 'crime'."

They all laughed and Ianto was happy for the first time since Jack's unexpected departure.


	6. Stitched Up

**Chapter 6 – Stitched Up**

With Tom and his new hair cut in tow, Ianto drove to Sid's tailoring shop or, as the aged sign said, Catelli's Modern Menswear. On Ianto's first visit, he was initially leery of the state of disrepair the building was in and the lack of any tenants on the first floor. All his worries washed away when he opened the door to Sid's shop and felt he was transported to a better place and time where quality fabrics and courtesy were still signs of a gentleman and being a gentleman was still something to strive to be.

"Looks like Sid's getting knew neighbors," Ianto mentioned as he and Tom bounded up the stairs like excitable children eager for an overdue treat.

"Yeah, he said they're foreigners. He reckoned maybe Eastern Euros. Said they wanted to open up a bakery of all things." Tom, in spite of his advancing years, didn't so much as huff as they reached the second floor. "He said they're bringing in all kinds of equipment."

Ianto made a mental note to look into the new occupants. Maybe it was from living a double/triple life or maybe it was being around his criminal friends, but Ianto was immediately suspicious.

"Tom! Jaunty!" Sid called as they walked into the shop. He wasn't as old as Tom, but his stooped posture and balding head made him look older. "It's always a pleasure to see two of my favorite customers!"

"Thank you," Ianto said shaking Sid's hand.

"As long as you have more than two customers!" Tom joked before enthusiastically shaking Sid's hand and slapping his shoulder.

"As it happens, I have three," Sid said smiling. "Speaking of, your friend Jack hasn't called me back."

Ianto had been hoping he could make it through this visit without hearing about something horrible Jack had done or said on his visit to Sid's. He knew the chances were slim, but he was hoping to make it through without having to apologize. It looked as though he couldn't make it even five minutes into the visit before the apologies began.

"Bad news, Sid," Tom said before Ianto could say anything. "Jack did a runner."

Sid looked shocked then confused then shocked again. He started to speak twice before he tottered to the desk at the front of the shop and started rifling through papers.

"Here it is," Sid announced holding up a piece of paper. "Just yesterday Amy charged his account. It went through fine."

"Why was she charging Jack's account?" Ianto asked. Other than the miracle Sid has performed on Jack's suit jacket by turning the salute to the totally awesome 80s into a timeless classic appropriate for Dave's funeral, Ianto didn't know of anything Jack would have purchased.

"He set it up. It was supposed to be a surprise!" Sid shook his head. "When I did the emergency job on his jacket, he decided he wanted a new suit."

"I'm afraid I don't think he'll be back to pick it up," Ianto said.

"It's a beautiful suit," Sid countered. Ianto had to smile at his raw belief in the power of fashion.

"I'm sure it is. You never know," he conceded. "Maybe he will surprise me and come waltzing back like he was never gone."

"So he didn't tell you about the other suits?" Sid asked.

"No and I'm not sure I want to know," Ianto said trying not to groan.

"He said he felt bad that your suits get ruined at work, but he appreciated the effort you made to always look professional. I told him you already had a suit on order and I hoped to be making more in the future. We joked about me being known as the man behind the Jaunty Jones look."

"You certainly are my tailor of choice," Ianto said.

"And Jack thought it would be a nice gesture to make you a few suits. I already had your measurements…" Sid trailed off.

Ianto was at a loss. Jack was known for his grand gestures, but Ianto didn't expect to ever be the recipient of one.

"A few?" he finally asked.

"Five," Sid replied.

"He had you make me five new suits?" Ianto wondered what Jack was thinking. Jack knew how expensive the suits were. He'd teased Ianto about the cost after Jack, in a complete invasion of privacy, spied on Ianto's credit card activity. Of course, after seeing the suit Jack had agreed it was worth it and had pointed out Ianto lacked other expensive vices so a suit habit wasn't such an awful thing.

"To start with," Sid explained. "He ordered five then placed a standing order for a new suit every month until, in his words, Catelli's no longer made suits or you no longer wore them whichever came first."

"That's quite a gift," Tom said in a tone of voice Ianto wasn't sure he liked. Jack wasn't even around and he was making Ianto's life uncomfortable.

"His generosity has always been part of his style. He likes to be flashy," Ianto continued. "Maybe it's an American thing."

Tom seemed to think it over and eventually nodded. Ianto didn't like going to the American well too often, but it so far had worked well to explain everything from Jack's dress sense to his inappropriate comments to his behavior. His left eyelid twitched in sympathy as he remembered scrapping with Dave's son Rick during the wake and Rick referring to Jack as Ianto's boyfriend. Ianto had told him, truthfully from Ianto's point of view, that Jack would kill him if he heard him say that and then explained Jack was an American which Ianto knew was a lie, but it made life so much easier when people assumed that to be true.

"Should I cancel the standing order?" Sid asked.

Ianto was torn. On one hand, he wanted nothing from Jack and was more than embarrassed by his gesture. On the other hand, Jack and Torchwood had destroyed more suits than he cared to think about so it seemed only fair to repay him. And he did like the suits Sid made. And Sid could certainly use the business and might have been counting on it. And it wasn't like Jack could spend his money wherever the Doctor had whisked him off to. As Ianto thought it through, the scale seemed suddenly unbalanced.

"No," Ianto said clearly surprising Sid and Tom. "If he wanted it canceled, he could have the good grace to call you and inform you. I'll take my suits as payment for the mess he dropped in my lap when he ran off. Besides, it would be impolite to refuse a gift."

"Good for you," Tom said smiling proudly. "I thought for sure you'd say you couldn't accept such an expensive gift. That's what you need to do more – look out for yourself! You need to take care of you! You won't get to be Jaunty Jones, Crime Lord putting yourself last!"

"Crime Lord?" Sid asked.

"I'm trying to convince Jaunty to step up and fill Capo Jack's shoes. Of course, it would take a very special suit for a coup like that," Tom said with a chuckle.

"I do have some new swatches," Sid said gesturing towards the comfortable seating area. Ianto and Tom shared a look of fabric lust. Tom rubbed his hands together and Ianto bit his lip to keep from smiling.

After looking at the fabric swatches and a serious discussion about an olive green gabardine, Sid insisted Ianto try on the six suits he had ready for him. Ianto's favorite wasn't the one he had ordered, but a dark blue Jack had chosen made from a super 150 merino. It was even more impractical to work in than his usual suits, but the fine fabric was luxurious in a way that screamed 'I'm quality. Touch me.' which, Ianto assumed, was why Jack has chosen it.

"It's too delicate for work, but it will make me search for special occasions to wear it," Ianto said admiring the suit in the tri-fold mirror. "Someplace where I could spend the evening standing otherwise I'd be running off every hour to give it a quick ironing!"

"I told Jack it would wrinkle, but he said where he thought you'd wear it wrinkles wouldn't be an issue," Sid said adjusting the shoulders.

Ianto could imagine what Jack had in mind, but he tried not to.

"Practical? No. Lush? Yes," Tom said rubbing the fabric at the cuff. "This is the type of suit you'd wear to meet the Queen!"

Ianto had never met the Queen, but he did speak to one of her representatives on the phone fairly regularly and she had insisted they have dinner next time he was in London. It was the closest he'd ever get to dinner with the Queen. Maybe a trip was in order.

"You've lost some weight since your last fitting," Sid said pulling at the waistband of the trousers.

"I'm sure I'll put it back on," Ianto said. "I haven't had the time to eat regular meals lately, but I'm going to make more of an effort."

"Wow." All three men turned towards the voice. Amy, Sid's granddaughter, stood in the doorway to the fitting area. "That color really suits you."

Ianto wasn't sure how to respond. In his experience Amy wasn't the kind of person to offer unsolicited compliments.

"Thanks," he said after what he knew was an inordinately long time. "It's not usually my style."

"Jack said he liked to push your boundaries," she said coming into the room. "He hasn't come in to pick up his suit yet."

"I'm afraid Jack has skipped town," Ianto said smiling understandingly at her. He imagined she'd been waiting to see the dashing, flashy man since he placed his order.

"That's awful," she said. For a moment, Ianto wondered if Amy had been taken over by aliens. She actually sounded like she cared!

"Don't worry," Sid said. "We'll going to keep his recurring order open until he calls to cancel it."

Ah, Ianto thought, she was worried about the money. That was more understandable. He recalled her insisting he pay for his suits in advance.

"That's good," she said with a measure of uncertainty. "Did he say why he left?"

"Not really," Ianto said wondering how many times he would need to look compassionately at someone who was shocked Jack had left. Ianto noted a tremble in her lower lip and wondered if Jack had done more than flirt with her. He had no desire to console one of Jack's lovers. If he could be lonely and hurt then so could she.

Amy approached Ianto and, to everyone's surprise, hugged him. Ianto awkwardly returned the hug and patted her on the back. He assumed she was on drugs.

"You're skin and bones!" Amy declared taking a step back and looking Ianto up and down.

"I've lost a little weight, but, as I just explained to your grandfather, things have been a little hectic with Jack's abrupt departure. I've taken the whole day off and I have promised several people I will start taking better care of myself starting today. I wouldn't be surprised if I come back in two weeks to have my pants let out!"

"In that case, I was going to offer to take our best customer out to dinner, but seeing as he has abandoned us, I will have to take his beneficiary out." Amy smiled and looked up at Ianto with a kind of affection in her eyes that Ianto thought was entirely foreign to her face.

"Well…" Ianto stalled. Amy rubbed his forearm and Ianto silently cursed the touchably soft fabric.

"Good. You can pick me up here at 7. See you then!" Amy breezed out of the room leaving Ianto with the same feeling he assumed he'd feel if a steam roller had flattened him into wet concrete.

"Guess I've got a dinner date," Ianto said. "Not a 'date' date," he quickly amended looking at Sid.

"I don't know. It might be a 'date' date," Sid replied. "I wouldn't have a problem with it. You should probably check with her when you pick her up. I'm sure she'll let you know."

"Good for you, Jaunty," Tom said slapping Ianto on the back. "It's about time you started dating again. Life is too short to spend it mourning."

Ianto did a mental 180 as he momentarily thought Tom was talking about Jack then realized he was referring to Lisa.

"I don't really think I'd feel right dating Amy," Ianto said trying to be delicate.

"If Amy decides you're dating, I'm not sure you'll have much of a choice," Sid replied. "Takes after her mother that one. She knew my boy all of ten minutes when she told him he was going to marry her. Two weeks later I was making suits for the groomsmen."

Ianto was unsettled by Amy's actions, but he was further disconcerted by the pair of elderly men smiling at him. He felt as though they were envisioning how he would look in a groom's tuxedo. He also felt vaguely ill.

"I think I'll wear the dark brown one home," he said removing his jacket and turning to more pleasant topics. As he changed, he found himself hoping for a world threatening alien emergency.


End file.
